Written by Lian Brook-Tyler
“Who does she think she is?” Projections: what they mean about you and them
I’ll begin this homage to the hidden and often misunderstood precious gold of projections by sharing some of what I’ve heard said about me – either first-hand (after they’d changed their minds about me!) or repeated to me by a person they’d shared them with.
Firstly, here’s a couple of descriptions of me dating back to when I was at college:
You’ll see how this theme continued, with a classic from the baby years, when I was trying to make friends with other new mothers:
“She thinks she’s better than everyone.”
Not exactly what I wanted potential (and much-needed) new friends to think about me. These comments used to hurt, confuse and worry me. I knew I didn’t think I was better than anyone (in fact, mostly I was just trying to figure out how to navigate the world without revealing myself to be a complete weirdo!) so why did I keep giving that impression?
How I looked?
How I spoke?
Something else? However much I analysed it, I never seemed to be able to understand, let alone change, this perception of me from people who didn’t really know me. It’s taken many years (and a lot of work to discover and rewild who I really am) to see that as much as I didn’t think I’m better than other people, I do (as is the case for others who came here to lead, disrupt, innovate, whilst paradoxically reclaiming the ancient ways too) have a sense of being different. I’m strange and otherworldly. I’m unable to fit in, be ‘normal’ and one of the crowd, even when I really, really want to… because of course I’m not meant to. It’s not my path.
And even today people continue to think these things about me, though now they’re even more pointed because, as I said in my post last week, the more revealed you are, the more impactful you are and the more the projections on you will increase in number and intensity, Inception-style.
Last week, the fiery Truth-Teller Sara generously shared her past opinions of me…
“Who does she think she is?”
“She’s a big headed know it all.”
“Oh look at her all glam and priestess-like”.
Sara also said… “Perhaps what was happening was seeing what I’d very skilfully placed in shadow, and how dare it be flouncing around like it’s ok to be like that in the world?”
Yes! She was watching me in the world and in doing so was risking bringing into the light of consciousness her very own wise, radiant and powerful priestess. That was something she wasn’t yet ready for, so she turned away, disgusted. Sometimes we’re self aware enough to know we’re not ready for that level of threat to our nice safe identity so we steer away from even allowing ourselves to be in enough connection with a person to feel the full power of our projections onto them.
As my precious client Tracey shared with me… “I steered away a little because I felt I would be jealous of your life if I got close to you, so I suspected I would get triggered and I wasn’t up for it. I wasn’t triggered from my ‘safe distance’ ”. And then she was ready to feel her own power to create an enviably blessed life so she was willing to come closer to me. So close that we’ve spent the past ten months working together in various Waking The Wild crucibles… and she’s now birthing her own much-needed wild medicine into the world.
How about you?
What are you projecting onto others (maybe me!) – what does that say about your own hidden gold? And what are others projecting onto you – what does that say about the parts of you that maybe you’re not yet claiming as the gift you are to the world?
Coming up in 2021 there will be more ways that you can walk the path of Waking The Wild. It’s going to be an epic year of Soul, Myth & Magic if we have anything to do with it! To find out more go to: Go deeper – Primal Happiness –
N.B. Everything I’ve shared here from Sara and Tracey is with their permission and with deep gratitude for their courage and vulnerability (two sides of the same coin) to share it with me and then to say YES to me sharing what they said with you.